30 May
BILLY CONNOLLY’S CHAIN LETTER
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Finally - a decent chain letter!
>>>
>>> Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50
>>> billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe,
>>> if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast
>>> on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed
>>> before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.
>>>
>>> And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000
>>> to you, and everyone to whom you send “his” email?
>>>
>>> How stupid are we?
>>>
>>> Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I’ll
>>> get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!
>>>
>>> What a bunch of bullshit.
>>>
>>> Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
>>> sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was
>>> started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim
>>> stowaways on the Endeavour.
>>>
>>> Fuck ‘em!!
>>>
>>> If you’re going to forward something, at least send me something
>>> mildly amusing.
>>>
>>> I’ve seen all the “send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this
>>> poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
>>> from some omniscient being” forwards about 90 times. I don’t fucking
>>> care.
>>>
>>> Show a little intelligence and think about what you’re actually
>>> contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it’s our own
>>> unpopularity.
>>>
>>> The point being?
>>>
>>> If you get some chain letter that’s threatening to leave you shagless
>>> or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
>>>
>>> If it’s funny, send it on.
>>>
>>> Don’t piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in
>>> Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant
>>> for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he’ll
>>> receive if you forward this email.
>>>
>>> Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning
>>> your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
>>>
>>> Have a nice day.
>>>
>>> Billy Connolly
>>>
>>> PS Send me 15 bucks and then fuck off.
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